Transcript Who Did I Marry?
Transcript Who Did I Marry?
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Welcome to Real. Raw with Dr B this nationally published author and pastor has made it, his life’s work to helping people strengthened their relationship with God themselves and each other with 25 years as a licensed counselor, coupled with his own life experiences with the ups and downs of married and single life. It’s like having a counseling session right in your own home. So without any further ado, it’s time for Real Raw With Dr B hello?
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Dr B this is my Real Raw Podcast my executive producer administrator hinder B enemy is not feeling well and I pray he will be back next week. And so we’ll back in the saddle. And again, the appreciate his word behind the scenes for Real Raw with Dr B. As you guys know, I am here to help couples to be more connected and to be more in tune to where they need to go.
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Sometimes many couples are trying to find out why they are even in this, in, in the same atmosphere on the universe. So that is my that’s my prayer. So the day is subject to do, as of June is understanding that you have to read the signs or a possible mate. You’d be surprised how many people in relationship are denying who the person really is.
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Now again, and your friends in your mom must be tell your mama may have their own personal feeling about the person that you aware. They may have your own of speculation, or you doing minister Henry. Appreciate your, but you have to say to yourself, there has to be a consistency in their relationship. And what does that mean? If they’re cursing out the door and then the curse now, the old mama and the cursing out the friends sooner or later.
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Yup. You got it. They’re going to curse you out. And a lot of times are in relationships. People who are not seeing what really is a, you know, she’s beautiful. He’s hands. And I’m talking about the dating phase because I got here. Here’s my belief. A lot of people who are married now, they didn’t really read the signs. They, they, they, they, they consistently denied the signs, right? They, they consistently said is not that bad.
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They gave you skew says for bad behavior. Now, now that’s a very important point. Got a couple is really, really need to focus on why are you giving a, a type of pass for bad behavior? Oh, he ain’t dead bang. She ain’t that bad. It’s a cramps. She cramps every single day. I don’t think so. She cramps every day.
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So every day there’s wanna is cramping. Now there could be a possibility, you know, some women have things going on with the reproduction organs. I understand that, but it ain’t all of y’all. Okay. And, and kinda of further I will, if things are going on within, then let’s go to the doctor together. How are you doing ms. Cook? God bless you. Good to see you. Let’s go to the doctor together to find out what’s really going on.
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How are you doing tests long time, God bless your soul. So really let us really stop speculating on the person who is becoming your perspective may and really take on what they’re showing you. And, and another point, if they consistently show excuses for the bad behavior, that’s not good. No. How are you doing ms. Lewis? She’s she’s a, also a therapist.
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Good to see ms. Lewis. So you have to, you know, put things into perspective and, and, and, and this is, especially for people who are just surface deep. I don’t care how beautiful, okay. How handsome the person is. Let’s go deep, right. Because sooner or later, and now there’s a lot of couples don’t see sooner or later, or are you doing tests? Whatever is inside of them, welcome to the surface.
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No. Yes. Yeah.
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And, and, and, and yeah,
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If they are trying to mask that side of them and they’re trying to mask that part of them, if they’re trying to mask, they’re really, really not that bad. That’s a good possibility that they’re going to explode. And the volcano Dr volcano has a lava on the bottom. Right. I usually, even though see the law of the, they don’t see the liquid, they don’t see the hotness I y’all gave him, I’m trying to say here, the last bread that they had, it was so bad.
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Now they’re going to put the brick up on you. They know you don’t see all that. Okay. But hang on a little while longer. Come, come the searchers. I know miss the old ones. How you doing Rebecca Davis? Good to see you. So let’s put things in perspective, people, all right, stop. I’m not reading. Stop. Stop it from gay. You, you know how things are. Okay. You know, what’s going down with her, you know, what’s going down with him and your dating you in love.
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But this is something is not right. Something is not right. I’m not saying you’re trying to be a Sherlock Holmes. It’s like under the telltale sign or is that if they’re always a blaming the baby mama, baby daddy, always, they did nothing wrong. They’re the second coming to Jesus. I mean, they, they, they, they ain’t nothing wrong with them. It was always the ma it was always the main.
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Now it takes two to tango. Yeah. And it takes to, you know, I got it. However, if they constantly, or the blame, the mate that they had before they met you, warnings, awnings warnings. Why? Cause something’s not right. Cause all of us got stuff. And I was, I was talking to a client today and I say, ah, and ah, you know, he was saying about, you know, issues.
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We have, I said, brother, we all got issues. You got issues. I got issues. The girl got the issue. If your church got issue, the dog God issues, the cat try and say, we all got issues. Okay. Is just that. Am I willing to really talk to this person and really be honest, am I really willing to be forthright and be who I really am? Why? Because I’m not being who I am then down the road.
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I’m going to scare you and me. Okay. Alright. Alright. How you doing ms. Summary? I hold, I’m sending the right of center. Right? So Kimmy, Kimmy item with Watson. Good. See as well. So, so, so, so hear me again, or you have any questions, any comments, please, please, please share the with me while I’m on I’m with my client to come in. That’s why I’m in my office or doing this. And again, we cannot wait to exhibit producer.
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Henry comes back and there’s so much. All right. So again, it’s being, and also some people are in a rush to get married. Right? Use the rush. Okay. How do you a lot in CLIA, but alone and miserable is better than miserable and with somebody else that makes sense.
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It makes sense to me one more time again, alone and miserable is much better than being a miserable and the relationship, right? Why? Because that person is always going to tee you off. Now, the person who always going to make you upset and resolve is going to make you in a B Wilson and the Brazil. What is going to get you out of your character? And can I say something about that to regret? Yeah. Always blaming somebody for your bad behavior.
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Oh really? Oh, I want to do a Podcast tomorrow. Brantley so your going to blame somebody else for your bad behavior. Now, now even a lot in glare. That’s why you really got to say is the person bringing me hope? Oh, bringing me to hell. Okay. And assign the legend was not going well. Is that you consistently? That’s fine. Excuse us.
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All of them. You can’t keep fighting as close as volume. Okay? You, you, you, you, you, you, you can’t. I know, I know you are the attorney, you know, you know, you can’t keep trying to excuse their bad behavior. No, no, no. Can’t be doing that. How are you doing? Hey Valerie. God bless you, Valerie. Good to see you. Alright. You can’t keep doing that will give you why?
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Because if the person is showing you who they are, except who they are now, here we go. You know, B Real <inaudible> B we make good living or really honor all the other 99.9, nine, nine, nine. All the time. The, you see any waiting here. Yeah. What percent are the relationship of?
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So for one, one second, I’m sorry of one percentage are the relationship. The guy’s good. Or the girl is good, but w but the 99 present it live with him. You have to move up. Okay? You have any comments, any points? I’ll definitely share them or on the screen. But again, this, this cannot continue. Okay. This is not healthy for you is tearing you down.
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And like I told somebody recently, one of my clients, I said, don’t let the person change you. Now hear me. If someone is, is, is not human. If someone’s in your life and they’re changing for the good or bad, by all means, we’ll help you brush your teeth. Them all. They help you flaw some more <inaudible> they help you with your presentation. Okay. Now, now, and that is good, but if they change it for the worst, okay.
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Then and there that they’re making me the doctor, Jekyll, mr. Hyde, we got some problem. We got some issues. The change of me at all, I’m going to be all the most, wanted less. This continues, no matter know about it. And don’t do that. But if they changing you, why are you in it? What about it? Ain’t that good?
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Okay. The touching. Ain’t that good for you to go to Inferno and say, they’re not good. So really ladies and gentlemen let’s be on with the person. Okay. But, okay. Let’s go back. Honest with yourself. Okay. The reason why a lot of people who are dating and I’m talking about dating apps and the second hand, but the reason why a lot of people was so wrapped up with a person and I’ve being honest with themselves, they’re not really coming to a, the person with the real Self.
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Right. So you’re accepting that baby. And try and say, can I say something about something better? Can I say something of them? Will you accept maybe your and dating you or going to accept bad behavior in marriage? One more time again, if you took, if your dating going to exert by behavior in marriage, you don’t want that. No, no, no, no, no. You don’t want that. You want to be in a relationship that is growing or the legislature that’s going to make you better.
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But again, you’re not accepting what the person’s showing. You will get your not accepting it. You know, they could sit, okay, watch his logic. So the car is not their mama. You know what? I’m going on to some of that. Cause I’m the mama. And cause I did that. They’re going to gross you out too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, people don’t change that much.
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No people do not change that much. People will sign up, show you who they really are. So, so, so, so let’s start a preteen me about some of y’all been in some bad relationships before, because you’ve been pretending you pretending you not serial killer s**t. Right? You’re pretending he ain’t got all his marbles.
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Okay. Stop it. Stop. Pretending. Cause of the show who they really are. Stop it. Stop that again, because again, Andy and I just don’t see a lot with, with couples when they do find the right person who knew me, when they do found the right person, they have been so inundated with the bad that they don’t know how to act or they don’t know how to really deal with the issues abroad.
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So, so, so, so by doing that, okay, the only sets them up the, the, the, the, the, the only puts them in a very, very bad place. So what I’m trying to say to you, my brother, my sister, is you got to see them for who they are. You can’t stop denying that. You, you, you, you, you, you, you can’t stop saying, you know what? That is who they are.
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Real Raw, With, Dr B is brought to you by the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs into denominational church. Hosea four, six says our people die for a lack of knowledge to that end, dr. B has written 24 nationally published books on relationships, intimacy and theology. You can check out his library at Dr. T see brantley.com backslash bookstore. If you or a loved one are in a difficult season in your life, marriage or personal situation, you can reach out to dr.
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b@areacodetwozerothreesevenfivethreeseventhreesevensevenorviaemailatdrbisrealatgmail.com that’s Dr B I S R E a l@gmail.com. Now back to your virtual relationship counselor, here’s more of a Dr B
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What’s out. Talk about app dating. Okay. I’ve got nothing against that. I ain’t got nothing against the David, but you know what? A lot of people are trying to show something is not really, I don’t know about. You will never break it out. Don’t really make it out. So when I order a hamburger, when I want a hamburger burger, you know, she let his tomato, Mayo, and my kid got his jalapeno.
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Now, when I bite him or me out, when I bite into the hamburger and I ordered it, I’m expecting a little kick and the Hamburg up the costs, I owed it, or the thing, you know, am I audit opinion? If I audit jalapeno in your, in hamburger, then I expect some tenderizing feeling all of my tone, you know, Mo because I bought it jalapeno.
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I ain’t getting, I’m trying to say to you, okay. Try and do imagine you have jalapeno. You tried to imagine, you know what, you know, the guy showed you in the very beginning, you know, you saw the dating app and he said this, and she said that, he said, he’s an astronaut do or not. Or Dr, you’re about to pick up every day. That’s funny to me.
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So he’s either the fact, you’re not really knowing how to Dr. Oh, that was funny. I’m sorry. You know, or the other, all the other lady says she was a model for every magazine. Right? And when you finally see ya, what model, what is your stop?
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It. So all I’m trying to say here, why are you doing that? Why are you trying to add in? What’s not, why are you trying to do that? So hopefully this time really helps somebody today because you’re dating someone who wasn’t really, who they really are. How you doing are renown green.
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All right, girl, Rinell green is watching. You gotta be Real all right. If you have any questions, any comments, please leave them. Please type them in. And I will definitely answer them for you. Okay? This is where you have to say express and not hear me, ladies and gentlemen on the Jimmy to lead him through those old paths forward, don’t get desperate.
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You may be married the wrong way, but you would have your kiss, him, or even worse. Half of the kids means the snake. So people the be careful because you don’t want to deal with this guy or this girl for the 28th is realize. And then the new term out there don’t age me yet.
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Don’t don’t, don’t, don’t the aging me by doing this, use your age and me by making me feel a certain way. You’re you’re aging me. OK. You you’re making me feel older than I am. And guess what? When your father, I don’t want to feel 80. You get my data. Okay? Yeah. It makes perfectly sense. I mean, alright. Why is you going to allow someone in your life?
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When I get my stress or as I say a lot drama, I don’t like drama. Oh, no, no. I like drama and TV. None of my personal life. That makes sense. See the problem with some of y’all. Some of y’all is so used to drama on TV. You aint haven’t under the drama.
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Oh my goodness. That’s that’s let’s let’s stop that. Let’s totally stop that mentality. Okay. How do you start going? Or how, how do you stop that mentality? I’ll tell you how you stop trying to make people into something that’s not going to be for you, because again, you are trying to deal with people right.
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And do with things. And in essence is Jackie, what is totally messing you up still and making your habit. And yet you are dealing with drama out of pocket. Okay? How are you doing ms. Kaja alright. Kiarra boy. And a lot of people joining today. God bless your heart. No. No.
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Okay. You got to really get to a point. Okay. How long didn’t you? How long have you been with that girl? And things have not changed. And you said what? Your drama? No.
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Right. It’s time to get off that train. Talk about the train. The five years. I say five weeks. I ain’t seen about Dave by the house, freakin, yours and the kicker is getting worse, getting worse. So why would you want to, could you want to probably, what do you wanna stay with them?
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Or why wouldn’t you do that? And last in point, I’ll be done. Well, not the B or they’re going to help them. Huh? Some people don’t want to be help. Some people don’t want to be, Oh, I don’t want to be help. They don’t want to be assisted. They don’t want no cane. They don’t want no wheelchair. They don’t want no crutches.
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They don’t want not. Knowing they want to do is bring hell into your life. Who the hell is somebody today? I hear some body listen, kinda who are, you know, you know, a scripture he says, as a Passover is a pass. You get me not passed. Okay.
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So all I’m saying, right. Passover. Okay. You can move from here. Cause the longer you stay in that situation, the longer they’re going to drive, and guess what? It’s, the pool is only a human limb. And guess what? They can’t swim either. They don’t like God good night. Yup. And the money I borrowed from you, you don’t need it.
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Where your going, okay. You really want that person. You don’t actually have to pass into your life. Really? I don’t think so. Yeah. This is very, very powerful. I know I was little, little drama that my wife says your drama she’s right.
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All I’m saying is that you need to do things differently, right? Why are you doing things differently, but expecting different results or I’m sorry, you doing the same thing, expecting different results then is that what happened? I’m not going help you at all. So hopefully this really touched someone today. Really helped you see something from a different perspective.
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Is that? Hmm. Hmm, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm. Hmm. It’s just not. Okay. Sign is five years. He ain’t doing no better. She ain’t doing no better. Not a fat. He is still
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Sweet and warm his mama.
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She is still a full of drama. Give me one day. And mrs. Colbert at 19, you want extra COVID-19 with the number of drama. That’s that’s what I think. That’s why that, alright, this is Dr B I know it can be a little extra, but I’m just having fun, but also trying to be informative that you too long have been this wilderness for too long.
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You’ve been in this bad place and I need you to go into a better place, sorry between counseling and members of my church put back and forth. All right. So thank you very much for joining us. Looking for counseling. Yes, yes, yes. Or not to be just me two or three seven five, three seven three seven seven two or three seven five three seven three seven seven. And we are, we have four offices over to God or the very end before we go over that, that’s my headquarters or to Marry excuse me, a Hartford.
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Whether it’s in Hamden. Those of my four offices, I’ve written 25, 24 nationally published books, all glory to God on marriage, intimacy and theology. And they know where you are. You better? How are you doing? E C, G L I Y for the positive. Okay. How are you doing procedure?
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All right, God bless you guys. And will try to do more of these podcasts as well to keep you enlightened and wisdom and knowledge. So you can grow in your work with yourself and with God and the others.
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Yeah.
1 (29m 21s):
Oh, October 29th. I’d be back at Mohegan sun and doing comedy.
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Thank you for tuning into Real Raw with Dr B. This show is a product of the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs into church. If you have any questions, comments, or topics to be discussed contact@doctorbisrealatgmail.com. If you’d like to hear this show again, you can go to the Real Raw with Dr B Facebook page. If you are being led to gift and wants to partner with us, donations are accepted via cash app at dollar sign RSIC 1997.
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We also accept donations via PayPal as new rescue one twenty@yahoo.com for donations of $25 or more, we will send you an autographed copy of one of his books. For more information about dr. B. You can check him out at Dr. T see brantley.com or on Twitter at coach T C Brantley and on Instagram at Dr Brantley PhD until next time be encouraged and to God be the glory.
