Importance of Fathers to Sons
In the human species, once a sperm Y chromosome is given to a fertile egg, the creation or gender of a fetus is determined to be male. For some men, this is where responsibility ends—during this conception phase. Many men contribute themselves during sexual intercourse only, and those left rearing the male child are left without the accountability of the dominate Y chromosome contributor– a father. The results have been generations of fatherless male children.
In my private counseling practice, men are often troubled when they arrive for counseling sessions. I generally never start with them per say; I first look into the lives of their individual fathers. Many times as is the father, so becomes the son. A father is the compass for his son’s life and how sons may live. I am in no way discounting mothers. Many great men of our time were led and fashioned by the love of mothers who did everything to help their individual families survive due to the absence of fathers.
The chances of men that become absent from their male children’s lives are high because men may have experienced the absenteeism of fathers in their personal lives. There has to be a revolution that says in essence, for every child that is produced, a man must be responsible and help rear that male in the points as a good citizen. The curse or cycle of non-functioning fathers must cease.
Having a father, however, does not guarantee greatness especially in cases where verbal or mental abuse is occurring on a daily basis. If the father has a hypocrite demeanor– meaning in front of others he is “father of the year” but behind closed doors he is hateful and disrespectful– this is worse because the son has to decipher between what he hears and what he experiences. Additionally, if the father is dishonoring a son’s mother… the point is what a son generally sees, he will do as well.
The long, overdue time has come for reconciliation between fathers and sons. And yes, it is fathers who must start the healing process, not defending what has been wrongfully done but repenting to sons as much as possible. It will be up to sons to accept, forgive, and move on, however it is the job of fathers, to best of their abilities, to start a process toward healthy, unified living between fathers and sons. Let us be compassionate enough to consider that the unforgiving son may be repeating lessons learned from his father as well. Fathers must begin to be the ideal compass and road map of forgiveness to help sons heal from pain.
Fathers, it is time to heal! Yet many men do not understand how to heal without having good counseling. Often, the reason why there is no healing is because a father may not have healed himself from his own father. Yes fathers must heal so that we can help our sons thrive. Fathers forgive your fathers. There are high chances that our own fathers had issues we know not of. It is hard to change the mindset of self if forgiveness toward our own, individual fathers for what they have done is not had.
Lastly, fathers that have passed from this dear life, who left behind sons also having sons, must reconcile all the more on all levels despite the death of his father before him. The point is, by any means, make every effort to forgive, heal and reunite the relationship between fathers and sons.
