Transcript Loving and Addiction

Transcript Loving and Addiction

0 (1s):
Welcome to Real. Raw With Dr B this nationally published author and pastor has made it, his life’s work to helping people strengthen their relationship with God themselves and each other. With 25 years as a licensed counselor, coupled with his own life experiences with the ups and downs of married and single life. It’s like having a counseling session right in your own home. So without any further ado, it’s time for Real Raw With Dr B

1 (32s):
God bless everyone. Gotten to see you guys today. Cause you guys are again Dr B and you know, we come on with the Real Raw still think God for Zach producer, him to be, and to me is scary, has gotten busy with his son as well as other things going on. So I am literally, he’ll put his touch on it and we’ll take it from there again. You guys know on him to come on for a while 20 minutes. I have another podcast as well, and that’s more for apologetics. Apologetics means a defending of the faith.

1 (1m 13s):
In other words, it’s taking questions from APS and other people and explaining things that they may have about the Christian faith. So that’s what I do on another podcast. So try not to spend spread myself so thin. So only 20 minutes with this. Alright, listen, we’re going to do, how are you doing this green? God bless you girl. So we’re going to talk about addictions or 11 Me. This is a constant issue with many couples, their restaurant or some type of addiction. And I just said, addiction, I didn’t say weed. I didn’t say drugs and, and say alcohol, and then say food.

1 (1m 56s):
I said addiction, because this is a prevalent thing that of things. And I dealt with on a regular basis. Then the addiction becomes more important than the relationship to the game. You know, you, you don’t love me. Well, not that she don’t love you or he don’t love you. The bottom line is you Loving the addiction or the love of the person now. And those are they’re called a functioning alcohol again, a functioning drug person. I got it. Ah, and, and you know, just like another woman doesn’t want another man or woman in the place of their love.

1 (2m 42s):
Well, I’m saying they was with addictions. All right. Is that you are saying that no matter how much this person loves you, you will love the addiction more than the person. And that’s the problem. Right? Okay. They didn’t make sense because again, you are putting the addiction, whatever it may be on a pedestal. Gambling is an addiction staying out late with your fellows all night long and, and staying. What can your fellows do for you? That girl can’t do far, yet and bicycles or ladies. Cause y’all think y’all say that, you know, the addictions are there.

1 (3m 26s):
Okay. And they are hurting. The relationship is, is, is a revolving door. When addiction now, what do you do? Well, number one, number one, or the person has addiction must have met. They have the addiction. And that, that, that, that can not go without saying that cannot go without any nomenclature or any negativity or any been put off on you. Now, the person who is dealing with the drugs or the addiction or the food addiction to gambling addiction or addicted to a billion mama. Yeah.

1 (4m 7s):
You don’t need to meet with me and mama. Yes. You can be addicted to a baby mama. That’s on me. Addiction out there that you have muscle first to admit it’s a problem. Why? Because you don’t, if the person who has addiction, doesn’t admit it. Then by nature, they will consistently say or anger, you know, angles and addiction. Yes. People know can’t control their anger as an addiction. How you doing miss Hollis? I bless you a long time.

1 (4m 46s):
Phyllis green and God bless your good to see you. These are addictions right now. Again, the person who has it must first a minute. Now they don’t minute. The person who doesn’t have the addiction, your relationship may be in trouble. I’m to be very straightforward. I told a couple on yesterday that either you going to heal or divorce, wow. That B getting stirred. Nah, I ain’t gangster. I ain’t gonna, I ain’t gonna waste your time. Yeah. You know, it is, the person is not going to amount to the pain that they are not only causing to themselves, but to the mate, now the person with the addiction says, well, I ain’t bothering you.

1 (5m 32s):
This is, this is not our addiction. This is something that I’m dealing with. And it is true. But because you’re one I see, you’ve got that little fine line, Frank, because your one, ah, you effecting, all right. So you cannot say, well, because this is my addiction. I’m dealing with it the way I can leave me alone. Doesn’t work that way. And my friend doesn’t work that way. It does not know what the word or why, because you’re bringing negativity into the arena, the relationship and that one that will work and will work.

1 (6m 13s):
Okay. So the person with the addiction must admit that has an addiction. They did that, that, that, that must be given out, right? Because if you do not amend it, my brother, my sister, where we may go to a is not going to work now, you know, my thing is as a counselor and as a pastor, I’m not worried about, I need to use again. That can be addiction to, well, cut. All. I got one view. I ain’t gone do no opposing. Here’s one thing I know. It doesn’t matter how many people you see that they think your touch is that maybe there’s not many people that view your Facebook friend.

1 (7m 1s):
It’s I’m trying to help you. Who are addicted to yeah. Two likes get a life. Okay? Stop letting people or situations overwhelm you so much that you cannot focus. I don’t can Raw all right. So again, it doesn’t matter how many people I have views on is how maple or touch and go and change. So the addiction, the person with addiction must must’ve met. I have it number to, to the person with other addiction cannot, this is very controversial, controversial stuff.

1 (7m 49s):
The person without the addiction must have them met not to become a narcissist. Let that marinate when your doctor B well, you can be so into the, the distraction or the pain or the negativity from the spouse, with the addiction that you come off as a Demi God yeah. You, you come up. I don’t Lori, you come off like you got it all together and you know how it all together. I don’t have it all together.

1 (8m 30s):
I know I’ve got two PhDs and two master’s degrees. I need help. Yeah. Excellent life. So, so, so, so those are the addiction. You’ve got to be careful not to come off as April. Why? Because that will consistently feed the addiction will mean that the B I’m not taking the drugs. I’m not taking the food drugs. I’m not taking liquor. How am I helping the addiction? Simply if you come off, this is real deep, but I think y’all going to get it. If you come off, like on the wrong with you, if you come off, like you have no issues, the person with the addicted will take Your play or the movie or the point of view and apply it to themselves.

1 (9m 31s):
Oh, you have just told them not to the problem. Why? Because you will not admit that, you know, you’re not perfect. And this is the issue that I see a lot with a couples. Usually the person’s addicted to something and the person who’s not addicted is acting like ain’t no wrong. Me, ain’t nothing wrong. Me at all. I’m perfect. Every day and every day on Friday. And next thing you blow the bathroom. Please tell me everything was right. Just by saying you brought the bathroom. Me something did go, right? Yeah. So that’s a very powerful factor that a lot of people do not get.

1 (10m 14s):
Okay. They, they, they, they, they do not put their in their heads that, eh, I ain’t got an addiction problem. How about this? You can be addicted to always being right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Know that. That’s why one of the biggest, I’m not on the biggest, but definitely have their issues with my truth is that it’s not true. And if it is my truth, just how I feel and what it is, what I’m a drop. And if I don’t feel I’m being narcissistic, I don’t feel not wrong with me then.

1 (10m 54s):
Of course, that’s what you want to run. With and you will learn to walk. Yeah. So we talked about the person with addiction, the other person who was not addicted. So overall is understanding that has to be some changes. Okay. So let’s go back to the person who’s addicted. Usually B addiction means there’s pain that has not been dealt with that’s the bottom line. It means that there is an issue to the pain that has not been dealt with. And because of the things that will be dealt with, then you have this combination or this mushroom Me of trying to hide it and you know, hiding with food.

1 (11m 46s):
Can you see me? Can you see me with the food in front of me? Can you see Me with the <inaudible> with the drugs in front again? You see me with my sh Whoa, you ain’t gonna lie. Y’all ain’t going on with me now. Amazon addiction. And when I did, I got it too. Yeah. Amazon addiction. Yeah. You always on Amazon bought everything on and everything on Amazon that could be brought. You we’ll buy on Amazon because I’ve got to have that all animals long. God right. I see your brain again.

1 (12m 29s):
This is so important. Why? My, my, my, my, my second premise of the narcissism, or the point of nothing wrong with me is so impactful. Right? Because if you’re not going to admit that you are addicted, Amazon, I mean, if you do not see Amazon or on your credit card, you ain’t happy. You ate something wrong with me. Well, how come I didn’t get stuck? Only have a long why? What, what, what, what are wrong with me that I got, I got to fix stuff. I got, I got to get my app or I got,

2 (13m 8s):
Yeah.

1 (13m 10s):
So I’m just trying to get you understand that it goes both ways where you want to say, it goes both ways. Now we have to people who understanding

2 (13m 23s):
We both have. Yeah.

1 (13m 27s):
We will get issues. Yeah. We’re, we’ve got stove in us that we need to work on. Yeah. And you ruined it and understand that perspective. You become a better person. And a lot of times couples have to do that. They just keep the finger pointed at the spouse. How are you doing pastor? There’s up? D E N I S E P. God bless you, sir. A good to see you. I’m sorry. God bless you on that, Denise. All right. God, I saw your picture. God bless you, pastor Denise. So when you do not understand this perspective, you want to falter.

1 (14m 10s):
So again, the, the addiction is only hiding. All right? So you’re hiding the pain. Okay. And so now it’s finding a good therapist who will help you to do with the pain. Alright, go on. The pain is doing, is crying out. The pain is crying out. I’m tired. And most people saw the addiction is a child somewhere. And then childhood, somewhere, and some were there or they, they implemented coping skills. And I was on my right now. I am you and building some coping skills.

1 (14m 51s):
Coping happened to be whatever you’re dealing with. Drugs, alcohol, food, Amazon about God is all there. How are you doing an evangelist, Helen Davis. God bless you. Glad to see you. You, you, you, you, you, you really got to understand. That’s time to deal with it. You can be addicted to change

2 (15m 20s):
My brother.

1 (15m 24s):
Well, to get it on my bedside, Chino, Chino, what do you mean? Dr? B you can make it the church. In other words, everything is going to do that to be at the church. I had one of those answers to the war. Everything was about to go to church to be about your family. What, what, wait, wait, wait. It isn’t. Now what addiction does, right? Addiction makes you do things that makes you not take care of what you should be taking care of. Isn’t an eviction. Yes, it is. So here are you. So, so here you are trying to save the world tie each and Brantley to that.

1 (16m 5s):
And if you get to about your family addicted Problem with the church addiction is that you want everyone else to follow you, you know, usually with drugs and alcohol and weed, whatever, you know what I’m dealing with themselves, I’m dealing with polymer cells, or do we call this mob problem? And I know how to deal with, okay, I got it. Hi. I have a church addiction. No one else is joining you. You have an effect. You have an issues like crazy. Why? Because you’re trying to put something in that really shouldn’t stay out.

1 (16m 48s):
Yeah. So I really say this is it. That would be what solution? Well, I go to the solution already. I say it again. It’s really trying to find, you know, where the pain was at to find a good therapist. The person is not a day. Did not always casting stones. Did you get that? Yeah. Cause we cast

2 (17m 16s):
B killing all. Think

1 (17m 20s):
Addiction needs your help. Yeah. Even Others Helen, David, you said a good girl, sowing, sowing seeds of discord. That’s form of addiction. Then you, you you’ve got to have a drama. I mean, I mean, if they look up to their drama there

2 (17m 50s):
To see

1 (17m 50s):
Your face <inaudible> yeah. You ain’t happy going on. I’m going on. I know you’re happy not going on you and depressed nosy as an addiction say, okay, you see how again, that second part is so important. What am on issues when I see my issues, but I’m better to see your issue will be enjoy that, you know, addiction or Loving is, is, is very hard to love someone when you are addicted to them, addicted to the drugs, to fool DOK or whatever, and to date.

1 (18m 38s):
All right, God bless you guys. As you guys know, I’ve written all glory to God, 24 Nancy Barbara’s books, and you can see my bookstore in three forms. I made three such matters, intimacy, theology, and relationships to the top part is intimacy. The second with second tier, as you can see, I know is not finished prior to my, or to be 70th theology. And the third T is relationships. So by God’s grace, I’ve done that. And think of a book, all my books on ebook format or God amazon.com pause and those.com while you can call me or two or three 75, three to five or 3,777 and take it from this, there is a kind of a busy kind of it is Thursday.

1 (19m 30s):
So it’s, there is a B at the company, the evening sun, one of the largest stage, or going out of the God comedy stages in Connecticut. And I’ll be there 10:00 PM. You want to sleep? We don’t come. I want you to smile. And what I’m doing and company don’t don’t don’t smell while I’m doing a comedy that’s that day. So I’ll be in October, this Thursday doing comedy and where you can send you to pick up the ticket and go to my website, calmly with dr. B or you can see on my 10 DC Brantley Facebook also that same day six o’clock B coming on with my lovely wife, mrs. Porsche, go on with Brantley and we’re doing a sign with some castle relationships.

1 (20m 16s):
All right. I’ve got, God bless you. And my time is up. It’s 20 or five fives, Gale. God bless you until next time. Thank you. Advantages Helen Davis portion. Thank you very much. God is on Porsche mess. It shall get outta here. God bless you. Oh, also I’ll be on to the IHS. W I H S radio as well on Thursday. So Thursday going to be very

3 (20m 48s):
Busy day, but I’ll go with the God. Alright. Look for counseling. You know, to get me two or three seven, five, 377 gets to go.

0 (20m 58s):
Thank you for tuning into Real Raw With Dr B. This show is a product of the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs into denominational church. If you have any questions, comments, or topics to be discussed contact at dr. B is real@gmail.com. If you’d like to hear this show again, you can go to the Real Raw With Dr B Facebook page. If you are being led to give and want to partner with us, donations are accepted via cash app at dollar sign RSIC 1997. We also accept donations via PayPal at new rest, one twenty@yahoo.com for donations of $25 or more, we will send you an autographed copy of one of his books.

0 (21m 45s):
For more information about dr. B. You can check him out@drtcbrantley.com or on Twitter at coach T C Brantley and on Instagram at dr. Brantley PhD until next time be encouraged and to God be the glory.