Transcript – Importance of Time
Transcript – Importance of Time
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Welcome to real raw with dr. B, this nationally published author and pastor has made it his life’s work to helping people strengthen their relationship with God themselves and each other with 25 years as a licensed counselor, coupled with his own life experiences with the ups and downs of married and single life. It’s like having a counseling session right in your own home. So without any further ado, it’s time for real roar with dr. B, Oh my God.
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Goodness. This is dr. B, where we come on this podcast to give you words of wisdom for our literature, with yourself, God and others. This is my heart primarily because I learned the hard way. I learned things that I should’ve learned before I got in my first marriage. And so my thing is to teach you what not to do many times, we don’t see that. We don’t understand that until it is too late. And so, and also my thing is, if you feel this at all, please, please, please accept my apologies.
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We’re not here to go off on anybody. We’re not here to point fingers at anybody because we all have our cross to bear. All of us, have our cross to bear. And hopefully this will be a blessing to you as we go on this podcast. All right. This is something that a lot of guys don’t understand and don’t see. And I’ll tell you what it is. T I M E. Alright. Now why is timing important relationship? Now, let me back up. You guys spend time with yourself first, then with God and people.
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Now, of course, as a pastor, I believe in you spend time with God first, but hear me out, you know, why do I say it’s your self first? Because I didn’t feel, I forgot where I’m at. Okay. And then I call, I go to God in prayer. Okay. I need to figure out what’s on my mind. So you need to spend time with yourself. Some of you are afraid to spend time with yourself. Can I tell you why? You’re afraid? You’re afraid what you say to yourself.
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You’re afraid what may come out your mouth. You want to come out of this mouth. Alright. A lot of times people get really busy. They don’t know how to be quiet. They don’t know how to have introspection, because if you don’t know, you hear me, not in clear. If you don’t know you, how can the person that you want to love? Know you. Okay. For example, that’s why I say you gotta know yourself first.
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Why? Because if you full of it, I will say all the words you’re full of it. Are you talking to God? Anytime I talk to somebody else, that’s not going to work. Why? Because you have to have the introspection. All right, Tim, what are your strengths? What are your weaknesses now? As a believer, I believe you put everything out before the Lord to help you along the way. But I feel I still have to have an introspection now human thought and clipped the introspection can not go to the point of self pity.
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Okay.
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That was one of my major issues when I was coming up in Christian down. Okay. Is that I got so introspective or so into what’s wrong with me. I turned to self pity. Self pity. Never helps. Okay. Self pity never takes you to the place that you want to be. Why? Cause self pity keeps you.
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Okay.
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Self pity keeps you chained. And when someone is chained, where can they go? Nowhere, nowhere. And so many people are saying, Oh, I want someone to love me. Or I want to be in relationship. Well, how what’s this? How can you be in a relationship? I rave for this. If you’re not in relationship with your wife yourself, that’s why we’re talking about T IME people.
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You’re taking time, especially those who are single. Alright. Can I take a honest perspective of myself? Alright, can I look within and say, you know what? These are things that I need to work on. These are things I need to improve on. Whether it’s worry, whether it’s anxiety, whether it’s childhood trauma, You know, these things has to be worked on.
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So I got to take the time out for me. Some of you have become so sufficient and making sure everyone else is alive. That you have nothing for what? Yourself. Wait a minute, dr. B, I thought you said you shouldn’t be selfish. Ah, I still believe that. I still believe that that, that you need to be selfish, but taking time out for yourself. That’s not being selfish. Oh no. Oh, no.
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Taking time off for yourself is you being strengthened.
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Okay?
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Some of you are so into stripping others. You’re not shrinking yourselves, right? Some of you are so into what they need and where he need, where she needs, that you forget about what you need. Have you ever gone to the grocery store, right? And correctly, correctly, you got things for your mate. You got things for your spouse, correctly. Things with your children correctly. But you’ve got things you need for yourself. For example, God forbid you needed a prescription filled.
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Oh, a prescription field.
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So busy, everybody else stuff you forgot to fulfill your own prescription. You forgot to get things that you needed. That the doctor said you need it. So gotta help somebody. What good is it for you to die? Why are you helping somebody else? When you could have lived? Okay. Don’t be a mater. Unless God prescribes that to you. Don’t don’t prescribe that to yourself. Don’t don’t don’t put the bullet to your head to yourself.
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That’s why I’m saying T I M me, you got to invest.
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Okay. Okay. Now second point.
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There’s not really a second point. It should be always the first point. But again, you saw why I said self. Okay. From my perspective
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And God,
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Now God is not second. He’s not second to anybody. All right. But I’m just trying to say to you that I go to God, but first I got to see who I am. Right? I got to see the stuff again. God cannot bring you a savior. If you don’t think you are a sinner, does that make sense? Somebody? I say it again. Why would God send you a savior? If you don’t first recognize against self evaluation, right? That you know, I’m a sinner. I need help. Okay. With all of the degrees God’s given me all the books, I’ve written all glory to God.
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I still need help.
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Oh, you don’t bleed. I do. Yeah, I do. And guess what? You need help too.
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You need to need to work on yourself. Right? There are things within you that need to be modified. There are things within you that need to go to another level. Right? So that’s why I am going to God with what my needs. How can I know my needs? If I don’t first do a self evaluation, I got, how can I go to God with time with him? If I don’t first understand, there are things within me that need to be worked on.
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Right? How can I understand my needs? Right? All right. How can I say God? All I got, I need this. If I’m not honest with myself. Okay.
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Honesty. Now
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I’m glad for this. Maybe you’re in gravitas. I’m glad God takes me as I am. As I come to him. Yes. I’m. I’m so counseling. Now, people talk about that higher being and going to a Hinduism and you know, comma and a place of Nirvana. Okay. That’s what you do. But this is my podcast. I want to say what I believe. Okay. I believe that through Jesus Christ, the son of God, I can have a better conception of who I am.
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Okay. Please see me. He was out in clear. Okay. Since I believe God is my creator. I know your mama. Daddy got together to the backseat, but God said your creator, right? She’s gone. His mom told you I need help people. I got tested, but I passed it just a quick, anyway. God is your credit. So if God is my creator Dell, it makes sense to me to talk to him about me.
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Okay? I’m gonna break it down. How many of you, when you get a brand new car, I’ll call this brand new to you. You look at the what? The manual, right? Cause the manual tells you how the car runs. Okay? The man. And you’ll tell you how to operate the car. Right? Without the manual. You don’t know how to operate the car. Am I right or wrong? I think I’m right. Okay. Without the manual, you don’t know how things work. You don’t know how the windows go down. You know how the, the windshield wiper going well in my, and my analogy, the Bible is the manual.
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And some of you are finding answers here. Finding answers there. When it makes sense. Let me talk to the person who created me. Let me talk to the creator who put me here on this earth to fulfill his purpose. No, I’m not preaching I’m counseling. I am preaching a little bit. Why? Because I have to understand. I got to spend time with my creator.
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Dr. B has chosen to devote his life, to saving the institution of marriage in his book, successful marriages for successful men. He gives them the knowledge to be relationship. Ready? Check it out.
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My ignorance in my first marriage was definitely Sean and I learned the hard way. And that’s one of the reasons why I write so many books on relationships because no one taught me. And I learned the hard way. And it is my heart to help men, especially not learn the hard way. So this is successful marriages for successful men, guaranteed. I guarantee you, this will improve your relationship.
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Purchases can be made at the bookstore at dr. TC brentley.com. And they can also be purchased@amazonandbarnesandnoble.com. And now here’s more of dr. V.
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I went to school for my, for my diploma. I went to school for my bachelor’s. I went to school for my masters. I went to school for my PhD. I had to go to school. Right? I had to spend time in the what? In the what? In school? Well, for me, it’s reading time with God time. T IME is investing that time in God. It’s it.
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It’s taking that time to know who you are and what you are. All right. Because when you don’t do that on a regular basis, then you’re going to lose out. Okay? You’re not going to figure out who and what you really are. Right. Again, the Bible says he’s the author and the finisher of my faith. So how can I know me if I don’t first get to know him? All right, again, it’s understanding that I need work, but now the understand that I’m a sinner. Now again, the reason why, again, I said self, you know, initially, because again, if you don’t understand, you need God, you’re not going to go to God, right?
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If you don’t understand that I need somebody who’s higher than me. Not Lord that not lower than me, then it’s not going to work. Right. So it’s me understanding. I need to understand me. And for me, it’s understanding that through God. That’s how I get to understand me. Because again, I need to invest
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The time.
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In other words, are you bold enough to tell your friends or even sometimes your loved one? I just need time with God alone. Oh my God. Okay.
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No,
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I’m going to go deep on y’all some of you, if you’re not careful will be defined by your toys. Okay. You will be defined by your toys. In other words. Well, I got my house. I got my car. I got this. I got that. Okay. So that’s so that’s, what’s defining you. Okay? That, that, that you’ve made that your measuring stick. Okay.
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You’ve made that who and what you are. Okay. I’m telling you, you need more than that. You need to go deeper than that. Okay? You need to find out, okay. I need not to be defined by toys. I need not be defined by things that are tangible. Okay. I need to be defined by some of that’s bigger than me. And I believe that person is God. Yes. I believe God is the one that defines you. God’s one that puts you on his earth. God’s one. So I need to time with him so that I can once stripped of all the things that I have is you and God.
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Okay? No, I’m not going to say a higher being. I’m saying God, okay. My pod guys. I say what I believe. All right. So it’s understanding that I need that time now. Lastly. Okay. You cannot be in relationship with somebody. No. Spend time with them.
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Okay.
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And spending time with them don’t mean you sleep. I don’t spend time review. I spent hours with you. Yeah. You will sleep. Eight hours time with me. You didn’t spend any adequate foundational. Let’s have a conversation time with me. Did you? The answer’s no. You spend time. Not now. Now. Oh, here we go.
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Somebody say I don’t have no time. Really? You really don’t have any time. You really don’t have any time. Let me look at your phone real quick. Oh yeah. I see a calendar date. Would your golfing buddies. Oh, and do I see your class reunion? Oh, do I see how you have to pick up your baby? Mama.
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Don’t do that. But wait. So you do have time. So you see, hear me very important. What you value is what you spend time in. I think that makes very good sense. I say it again. What? You spend time in relates to what you value. I don’t help him. Somebody. I, you know, I know I’m I’m, I’m I’m helping somebody again.
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What you value is a time you put in. So if you don’t value yourself, if you don’t value God, if you don’t value of the person that God has given in your life, then I’m going to tell you right now, it’s going to fail. I can’t believe how the doctor, the, all the all Udacity can’t spell it, but it sounds good. Hey, all DASA day. How you say hi, bill fail. Don’t put time in it.
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You’re going to fail. You’re going to fail.
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Okay? Okay. Let me break this down completely down. I will. How do you like getting paid Friday night? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Okay. That’s all. Y’all know that song. Yeah. Y’all too young for that song. Y’all know about that song. I was old school. Well, we know that song. That day, that jam came on. What were you at Friday night? We had a people say yeah. Friday. Give me all your money anyway. So my mind goes, please, you know?
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Anyway. So how many are let to get paid? Okay. Cut. Okay. Cut you the formula. Get paid. Can take the formula. Okay. What part of that formula should I put up here? Okay. Will time times your hourly pay. Am I right? Somebody. Alright, so, so God bless me. Have a degree in mathematics.
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So, so, so your pay. Okay. Stop being smart. I heard about the taxes, but okay. I’m talking about the gross. Okay. Smart Alex. Okay. Let it go. Brantley. So time times hourly paid. Is that correct? That’s correct. So follow me. If you put zero time into your hourly pay, how much you get paid.
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Okay. Yeah.
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Did you say zero? You actually correct. And if you work more hours, you get paid more. Ah, y’all getting it. Huh? Huh? So some people are complaining. They’re complaining about their relationship, who you’d be full of drama. Number one, she didn’t want to spend time in the forties movie.
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Stop it. All right. You’re just complaining. Oh, my children are loving it. You know what? I don’t love you. And I spend time with them. You’re not spending adequate time. My son, you know, you know, he’s an adult Sunday after church, we did a, we did a two hour trail walk, two hours. We know what we did. We talked and walked.
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We talked and walked. We talked great time. I helped my son. No I was doing, I was spending time with them. Why go? When he was younger? I didn’t do that with her. And I said to him, I said, you know what, son, I wish I’d have done this earlier. And my son said, daddy, it doesn’t matter what you do. What you did then is what you’re doing now. Oh, that boy knew how to talk to his dad on it. But you know what? If the time it is really the time you are investing, whatever you value is the time you will take.
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And a lot of you don’t understand that if you want more, are you giving more or are you giving less? That’s a, that is very important. Very important. Okay. Whatever you give out is what comes back to you real raw with dr. B is brought to you by the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs, interdenominational church, Hosea four, six says our people die for a lack of knowledge to that end, dr.
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B written 24
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Nationally published books on relationships, intimacy and theology. You can check out his library at dr. T C brentley.com. Backslash bookstore. If you or a loved one are in a difficult season in your life, marriage or personal situation, you can reach out to dr. B at area code (203) 753-7377 or via email at dr. B is real@gmail.com.
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That’s D R B I S R E a l@gmail.com. Now back to your virtual relationship counselor, here’s more of dr. B.
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You know, I used to be 200 and 230 pounds. Alright. I was 50 pounds. Well, one 87 now. So, but it’s still not two 34. Okay. So I had to work on this and guess what? People I still got to work. I still got to spend time. We’re working out. I should, I should I spend time and what I eat now, y’all know. I looked y’all know daddy. Oh, two weeks ago.
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Yes. I’m on my red table two weeks ago. I got me the barbecue chicken strips. I got me talking sprinkles, watch I killed it.
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Killed it, killed it. It’s funny. It wasn’t funny. The next day when I put, I put my hot tail on that scale, my skills there, what did you do? What’d you do? What happened? Where’d you go tell on you like really? What am I saying? Whatever you spend time in. It’s going to come out.
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Okay. You know, some people say, cause some, you know, I’m also a pastor and as it, you know, a Bishop called loss coaches, you know my colors, crutches. I spend time in the word. I spend time reading. God’s word. I’ve been preaching for 40 years. People over 40 years, I’ve been counseled over 20. I’m pretty terrible 40 years. So my time with God is not okay. God, I got it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I am still working out things in me working out.
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Okay.
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Okay. When I go to the gym, people who see me in the gym, planet, fitness, I’m focused. I I’m, I’m focused. I’m hitting it. Those that do the, watch me, the TC challenge that I do every Sunday. And I do the challenge. Why? Because it’s the time I’m putting in. It’s a time I’m putting in and not just for me, but also to encourage those around me. Right? Because again, whatever you spend your time in is exactly what you will become is exactly who you, who you are.
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So again, your marriage is failing. You are depressed. You’re not walking with God. Excuse me. Can I tell you loud and clear? Where’s your time at? Because hear me God’s especially, how can you expect better things if you’re not putting right things in you can’t they told me way back when in computer class, garbage in, garbage out.
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Yeah. That, that, that’s how it works. Why? Because you got to understand it. It’s a process. It’s a flow. If you don’t do the flow, right. You get what you get. And that’s why a lot of couples fail because what you’re getting out is what you brought in, what you would get, what you’re getting out, what you put it in and you have to constantly watch. Okay, what am I putting in? Okay. So let me say this. How much time I got, sir. Okay. So hear me. A lot of you may be spending time in, but what is the
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Quality of time?
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If you’re waiting to do your Bible study 11:30 PM. That’s not quality time. Unless you will not turn on. That’s a big word for you. Can’t go to sleep. But if you’re not nocturnal and you haven’t, the Bible said 11:30 PM and you just drink free and you just took NoDoz. You’re not going to have a good Bible study people. So it was a quality time, right? It’s a quality time. And, and, and in a relationship you gotta spend quality time with each other and quality time.
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Do I dare say,
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Do I dare say the T word quality time is talk.
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Now some of you who’ve been about some of you who’ve been about my practice. You understand talk. I’ve been without first. A what? What’s the C word connection. Yeah. No, unless there is a connection. All right. Unless there is a connection. You won’t understand it. Now let me say this last thing. Okay.
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We are spirit beings.
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Okay. They live in body that have a soul. Okay. So I’m trying to corner real quick here. Okay. Are you feeding?
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Yes. Spirit. Okay. The time.
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Okay. W we’re very good in feeding our bodies, right? We’re very good. And making sure our bodies get what he wants. Okay. I’m going to go fight you for that. But are you feeding your spirit? Why? Because what? However, your spirit is fed is direct point on your flesh is a direct point on how you deal with things. How you deal with drama, how you deal with pain, how you deal with a low self esteem, how you deal with depression. If your spirit is not fit, hear me loud and clear, then your flesh will automatically take control.
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Does that make sense? I’ll say it again. When you don’t feed your spirit on a regular basis, then automatically the flesh will take control. And that’s why many of us, myself included when you’re not feeding your spirit on a regular basis, then you will fall. Now. How do you feel your spirit thinks asking your meditation time now? What do you meditate on? Yes. Yup. Yep. What do you mean? What do you meditate on? Are you meditating on God? Or are you meditating on anger?
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Are you meditating on, you know what? I want to do this better for myself and my family or all you’re meditating on, you know, but how can I get his position? What are you? Because whatever you meditate on is what you’re going to be called. The only reason why God has blessed me to survive this long by grace and glory, because what was my meditation for every pastor that I served under, not one pastor can say I went behind their back. Not one. Why? Because I understand the importance of how I treat people and I’m going to come back to me.
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That’s how I survived. I survived. I probably know, told the story before, but when I was a kid, I know you can’t believe that that was a kid before, but yes, I was a kid and I was like maybe seven years old. And my first pastor was pastor Jasper Pettis. He was amazing. My first pastor in Glencoe, long Island, New York, he was my very first pastor. And so when you know, they don’t do it now, but back then, people really honored their pastors.
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They really honored their pastor. So when pastor came in, wow, flashback, there were two of us, I’m sorry, three of us. And when the pastor came in, he had his Colt, he had his briefcase and he had something else. And every, now we knew three of us, Gary, myself, Gary, or Gary passed away, Eddie and myself. And so when the pastor came in, one was have his coat. One of us was have his briefcase. And of course, one time it was pre K, then BRCA was heavy. And then me, I remember as a kid carrying his briefcase, couldn’t, couldn’t carry it.
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People were laughing at me, but that right there put service in me that right there put service in me and I haven’t left me. Yes. I know I’m a Bishop blessed to do service. I’m still doing stuff around the church. You know, a couple weeks ago, I changed all the tiles of the church. Why? Well, you know, I’m, I’m a Bishop now and you still gotta work. You still gotta do service. Why? Because the time I put it in,
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Ah,
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That it came back to me. Papi Petterson probably came in. We were there. We were there ministering to the man of God. We were there giving to the man of God. So it was a time I put in. That’s why I’ve all these years. I’m still here by God’s grace. Why? Because as a little kid, God put that in me. Matter of fact, my name Timothy is my real name. I know it’s not, not to be, but then my real tilting, my government name in the Greek, my name means honoring God.
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So, so again, it’s the time that I put in to what God has given me. So I’m starting on a tangent route real quick. Therefore reason are you feeding your spirit because if you’re not listen, if you’re not feeding your spirit and some of you are taking time to feed your flesh and you’re not taking time to feed your spirit, right? You’re not taking time to make sure that I don’t have negative connotations toward people. All right. It is constantly doing a Jacob and angel fight, right? Jacob and the angel fought.
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And until Jacob fought, his name was in change. The problem is that when a negative thought comes in your head, you don’t fight it. You just let it come on. You, you let it just overwhelm you. No, no, no, no. A time of a mature person is that when a negative thought a negative feeling comes in because I’m spending time with God and myself, I stop it at the door. Many couples are failing because they don’t stop it at the door. I’m knowing I’m talking about people again.
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It, why? Because I’m on spending time with myself, spending time with God, spending time with others. Watch says when I’m spending time that I can immediately know that shouldn’t be in my life right now. That thought shouldn’t be there. That, that, that, that, that, that, that why? Because my spirit is conditioned. Okay. My spirit is being, I took time with God to understand my spirit and then feed my spirit again. What are you feeding? Okay. What are you putting in?
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I know my time is up, but he be looking at me funny. Alright. People hope you guys enjoyed the days podcasts. And again, this is again the importance of spending time. Alright. You cannot expect things back. If you don’t put things in, you can’t do it. All right. My time is up for more information about us. Executive Duso will give me information. Thank you for joining us on the different platforms.
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I’ll leave your comments, your suggestions. And if you have suggestions for subject matters, dot to be use reel@gmail.com. Again, people pray about supporting the ministry, supporting this ministry about doing the podcast, and you’ll be a blessing to others. All right, until next time I see you, you know, I’m about to say, don’t you
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Go on, say it with me. Come on now, come over now. Fairy weapon. Peace. Thank you for tuning into real RO with dr. B, this show is a product of the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs into denominational church. If you have any questions, comments, or topics to be discussed contact at dr. B is real@gmail.com. If you’d like to hear this show again, you can go to the real roll with dr.
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B Facebook page. If you are being led to give and want to partner with us, donations are accepted via cash app at dollar sign RSIC 1997. We also accept donations via PayPal at new rest, one twenty@yahoo.com for donations of $25 or more, we will send you an autograph copy of one of his books. For more information about dr. B, you can check him out at dr. TC brentley.com or on Twitter at coach TC Brantley and on Instagram at dr.
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Brentley PhD until next time be encouraged and to God be the glory.
