Scars and Cycles…

It is very apparent in my personal counseling practice and in my own life, that the effects of parents on a child are legendary. We look like our parents, and for many that is where we stop. We also act like our parents. Our personalities are a direct reflection of the behaviors of our parents. The two are mutually directed.

The physical DNA of a father and a mother not only runs in their child, but also a parent’s emotional DNA runs in their child’s veins as well. Things we hate and do not like about ourselves have some bearings from our parents. This is often shown more in situations where fathers are absent from a child’s life. When a child has an absent parent, he or she will frequently have issues because the child is defined by both parents. When two come together to create life, they should also come together to create the being and personality of the children they have and rear. Without both parents in a child’s life, there are risks that the child will experience identity issues. Why? Because the missing parent who could have given direction and insight into a child’s life, was nowhere to be found.

A parent that leaves a child to fend on his or her own probably had the same issues handed down to them. This scenario, many times, creates a cycle that will continue to the next generation. We must place a stop on such events. Parents must have insight and probe into themselves enough to heal the pain of their own childhood so such pressures are not repeated passed down to their children.

Sad to admit, but corrupt behavior of a once child who is now grown into an adult may not change until the offending parents have passed on. It is weird yet makes sense. As long as the “bad” parents lives and breathes and does not demonstrate change that the child is able to see, then the child may continue down a destructive path, just as the parent who demonstrates such behaviors.

Our society, as a whole, must start to heal from the open wounds of our parents. The scars must become the healing of tomorrow. I must admit that the craziness we see in our society is a direct point of fathers and mothers creating monsters by their own selfish, emotional actions. We, as parents must realize, that our children not only feed from us physically, but also mentality and emotionally as well.